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About Literature / Hobbyist Core Member FranklesFemale/United Kingdom Group :icontheknow: TheKnow
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Flash Fiction

The Clapham and District Pirate ChoirIt had been a long day at Pirate Primary School and the Ruthless Edward (aged 6) was getting ready for bed. He sighed as he pulled on his pyjama bottoms. He really wanted a wooden leg like all the cool kids but Granny had said he couldn’t have an amputation until he was 18.
He buttoned up his pyjama top and got under the duvet with his ruthless teddy just as Granny came in with a snack for him. He sat up and she handed him the plate, and then she sat down beside him on the edge of the bed.
“So, what did you do at school today?”
The Ruthless Edward rested the plate on his knee and thought. “We learned about pirated material, Granny,” he said. “Stealing other people’s work.” He frowned. “It was pretty boring—not like real pirates at all.”
“No,” agreed Granny, smiling, “that isn’t much like our kind of piracy but it does have its origin in proper pirates. Shall I tell you about it?”
The Ruthles
Insects“Thank you for coming in,” said the interviewer, as they settled down on opposite sides of the desk. “It’s Mr. Carlton, isn’t it? May I call you Paul?”
“Yes. Yes, that’s fine,” said Carlton, attempting to relax.
The interviewer checked the piece of paper in front of him, and looked up again. “Well, Paul, perhaps we could start with you telling me a little about why you would be suitable for the job.”
“Right,” said Carlton. “Um, well, I’ve worked in security for 15 years, first for—”
The interviewer interrupted him. “Actually, it’s not security work.”
“Isn’t it?” Carlton looked bewildered. “But the advert mentioned intruders and keeping out unwelcome visitors…”
The interviewer smiled a little. “That is true. But we’re talking more about pest control.”
Carlton’s face fell. “Right. Well, I’m sorry fo

HomonymsDarren was carefully pouring a jug of water into his biology textbook.
“What are you doing?” asked Miss Markham.
Darren looked up at his English teacher. “The exams are coming up soon, so I’m pouring over my books.”
Miss Markham sighed. “It’s not ‘pouring’, it’s ‘poring’.” She beckoned to Darren. “Come and take a walk with me, young man. You might learn something.”
Going down the lane, they came across a path leading away from the road. A young woman in a flamboyant white dress and an older man in a morning suit were just about to start hiking down it.
“Ah! Excellent—here’s a good example to begin with,” said Miss Markham to Darren.
She stopped and addressed the girl. “You know, this isn’t a bridal path. It’s a bridle path—for horses and their riders.”
“Oh…” said the bride. “You know, that does make
I've Really Lost My MindThe young man smiled, with just a touch of embarrassment. “I seem to have lost my mind.”
The female attendant looked at him. “This is a railway ticket office.”
“You want the lost property section over there.” She pointed at a counter where a severe-looking man was rearranging misplaced umbrellas.
“Thank you!” The young man nodded politely and headed across to the other section.
The lost property attendant looked up as the young man approached. “Is it an umbrella you want?” He indicated the display.
The young man appeared to be tempted for a moment by a purple one decorated with cats and dogs, but then apparently remembered why he was there.
“No,” he said. “I’ve lost my mind. I’m pretty sure here was the last time I used it—I was trying to work out what would be the cheapest ticket to Inverness on a weekday in June, outside peak hours, travelling with my back to the engin
A selection from my flash fiction.
Background by berzelmeier Box by CypherVisor


SmugglingJohn was in the frozen vegetables aisle, contemplating the advantages of peas over broccoli, when Sherlock suddenly appeared beside him.
“What the..?” said John.
“I’m here on a case.” Sherlock was staring over John’s shoulder. “Just try to act naturally.”
John looked round and saw a scruffy, prematurely-aged woman shuffling towards the baked goods. He turned back to Sherlock.
“Isn’t that a member of your homeless network—Miss… Adlington?”
Sherlock nodded, and then tensed. “The security guard’s spotted her.”
“Oh, God,” said John. “Please tell me you haven’t got that poor woman doing shoplifting for you.”
Sherlock glanced at John. “Of course not. Miss Adlington hasn’t done a dishonest thing in her life.”
His gaze returned to the woman. “People working in security always make such stereotypical assumptions. She’s just the decoy
Floor Coverings“Oh, dear God!”  Abruptly, Watson found himself horizontal.
He raised his head from where he lay and glared up at Holmes. “Care to tell me why you’ve greased the sitting room floor?”
“Well,” said Holmes, “I needed to find out how far a man would slide if…”
“Just pick me up, you wretched man!”
Holmes rushed into the sitting room to find Watson once more flat on his back, having slipped—perhaps surprisingly—on a patch of ice.
“My dear fellow!” cried Holmes. “I should have warned you of my experiment!”
“You better have a damned good explanation why I’m lying here with a rapidly chilling backside,” said Watson.
“It’s conduction,” said Holmes. “Heat travels...”
He caught Watson’s expression. “I see. I’ll just help you up then.”
Holmes smiled.

The Prosecution Rests"You? Doing jury service?" grinned John, reading his flatmate's letter.
"I will kill Mycroft," said Sherlock.
Both sides had concluded their arguments.
"Well, it looks straightforward to me," said the foreman, in the jury room. "I don’t think he did the burglary. The prosecution's case was pretty flimsy."
There was general agreement to this.
Sherlock smiled.
"Guilty," said the bewildered foreman.
"Guilty?" said the judge, surprised despite himself.
“Yes,” said the foreman. He paused for a moment, concentrating. “His laces indicate his alibi is false, his posture tells us he’s been in the area where the burglary took place, and his chronic dandruff suggests he’s actually been inside the burgled property. Oh, and the defendant needs 37 other offences to be taken into consideration.” The foreman glanced briefly behind him. “Probably."
From the back row, Sherlock nodded in satisfaction.
John gazed at the stunned-looking jurors gathering in th
Trailing BehindJohn hadn’t been able to drop off at all in the caravan. Sherlock, conversely, was sleeping like a baby. Up every two hours and making a hell of a racket.
“Sherlock,” said John. “There is no nicotine in this vehicle. Go to bed.”
Sherlock glared and sipped his fifth cup of coffee.
John groaned.
At least the case was over. Tomorrow they would be back in London.
John checked the connection between the caravan and car and got into the driver’s seat.
“Shall I drive..?” asked Sherlock.
Ah, apologising for last night, thought John.
“We don’t want to end up crashing into the embankment if your shoulder locks,” said Sherlock.
John started the car.
For an hour he listened to Sherlock complaining. Despite having just solved a case, Sherlock was already craving more stimulation.
At the next service station John pulled over.
“I’ve had enough. Go and buy some cigarettes.”
Sherlock stared. “Really?”
A selection from my 221Bs.
Background by Gasara Box by CypherVisor

Fan Fiction for the Unconvinced

Literature Features

The Inevitable“I think you know why I’m here.”
    The merchant stared at the figure in his doorway. In a way, he’d been expecting this visit for many years. However, it was not exactly as he had anticipated. “Shouldn’t you be speaking in all caps or something?” he asked.
    The robed skeleton stared blankly at him. “Meh,” it shrugged. “It’s been done.”
    “It’s just that caps would be a lot easier to...”
    “Silence, mortal,” interjected Death, very quietly. “I have come to claim what you owe. It is...inevitable.”
    The merchant shrank back into his hallway as the skeleton stepped inside, the lamps on the wall flickering at its approach. Death drew closer, closer, then paused to peer into the study to its left.
    “Is this where you keep your receipts?
An Enid Blyton Tribute in Under 1,000 Words1: A New Term
There were three new girls waiting for the school train.
'I say, Ally,' said Coral, looking at a pretty girl with golden curls.  'She looks frightfully vain and spoilt.  I hope she won't be in Dorset House with us!'
'She looks like fun, though,' said Ally, seeing a girl with short hair and freckles.  'Mischievous, but a good sport.  Oh, she's coming over here.'
'Hello,' said the short-haired girl, with a boyish grin.  'I'm Tony.'
'What a queer name for a girl,' said Coral.
'Well,' said Tony, 'my real name is Antoinette, but I hate it.  Oh, here's Prissy.'
'Hello,' said the golden-haired girl.  'We've got three cars.'
'Snob,' said Coral, turning her back to the Prissy.  'What about the other new girl?  Do you know her name?'
'She's called Lily,' said Tony.
'Funny looking girl,' said Ally, staring in astonishment at Lily's body piercings and dyed black hair.  'She'd better not give us any cheek, or she'll be sat on!'
FFM Day 29- What's Left BehindIn a dim parlor, the men sat in clusters, some chatting with ghosts, others staring mutely. Men muttered and cried, gritting teeth in agony- they reached for limbs that weren’t there anymore.
Someone slammed a door, distant, but cacophonous. Someone coughed, loud as a landslide. Charles flinched. His eyes flitted from body to body, looking for a distraction. The room was stifling, smelling of old blood and myriad maladies.
A boy across from Charles whispered to himself, eyes vacant, face cheerful. In a voice like bullets, sharp and quick, “I’m gonna drop it, I’m a coward, don’t let me drop it, just please take it away from me.”
Charles saw what the nurses and doctors couldn’t, but it never passed his lips. The sunlight spilled across the floor in gashes, rending the boards, blood swirling in the grain of the wood.
The men weren’t trapped in their heads; they were falling out of them. Their skulls were cracked open, many literally. They sw
FFM 2015 19: Pastel CobblestonesShe was on a morning ride away from her village when a white cat darting across the path forced her to twist the handlebars of her bike to a sharp left. She juddered down a narrow flight of steps and almost collided with a mailbox.
As she righted her bike, she saw stretched before her a cobbled street lined with shops. Where was she? She’d never seen this place before, and though she didn’t know it then, she would never see this place again. Perhaps she ought to have known this, that magic places often change address.
She ambled down the street, the bike she wheeled beside her going thump-thump-thump on the cobblestones, which were in faded pastels like children’s multivitamins. The shops displayed novelties—vintage cameras the size of a thumbnail, fairy lights that changed color according to one’s mood, water scooped up and bottled from different oceans. Most of the ocean names were unfamiliar to her.
She bought a pair of round-frame sunglasses. As she st
Fav This TweetLady of the Æsir said:
you there
WolfSister said:
what up frigg
Lady of the Æsir said:
uh not much
just um
can I have my son back pls
you know
everyone loves him and misses him
*I* love and miss him
and it sucks that he's dead
WolfSister said:
Lady of the Æsir said:
srsly though it shouldn't even have happened
I mean like
p sure loki was just being a dick
like usual
basically anytime anything goes wrong it's just loki being a dick
WolfSister said:
hey now
thats my dad
Lady of the Æsir said:
can I have baldr back pls, he's p much my fav son
and I went to all that trouble to make him not die
soooo I would really appreciate it if you'd help me out
you know
queen to queen
sort of thing
WolfSister said:
look the thing is
you know how everyone loves your son?
Lady of the Æsir said:
WolfSister said:
well see the thing is
I like him too
he serious
Fight the UnfightableSummoned from its eldritch sea, the Hydra reared its heads, unfurling, silhouetted against the moon. The first head approached with a vicious twinkle in its yellow eye, its needle teeth bared in a deadly grin. Moist acid breath stung my eyes like ethanol.
“Tell me a ssstory,” it hissed.
I swallowed. “Once upon a time-”
“A sstory about a barbarian. And forgiveness. And a carrot.”
“Once upon a time there was an orcish barbarian called Raknar. A legend in his own time, the tales of his exploits are many, but this one is perhaps the greatest of all. Raknar journeyed the length and breadth of fiction, and no foe could offer him a sufficient challenge. Ennui set in, but as he travelled, he heard tales of one place all monsters feared to tread. One day he found himself at its gates, and it was anticipation, not fear that filled his heart. This was where the greatest monster of all dwelt. This was his ultimate quarry. Dauntless in the face of certain d

Mature Content

FFM15 - 23: What Lies in the IceLOG ENTRY 7
A week in the mines and I finally feel I am getting the hang of this. This world could not be more unlike home. And yet, this mine is so much like any other, it is easy to believe at times that I have never left.
The days of tunnelling paid off. We hit a deposit of methane ice that will probably be worth millions on the interstellar market. We’re having a party down in the mess tonight.
I think Aran drank too much last night. He started telling everyone today that he went back to his dorm and there was two of everything. Poor guy. I tried to tell him that’s what happens when you let people poor liquor down your throat with a funnel, but he’s adamant about what he saw. Said it freaked him out so much he couldn’t stay in the room. I went and had a look this morning but everything was normal. Told him to sleep it off in my dorm.
We hit another repository in the ice today. This frozen lake is more like a frozen ocean.

Visual Favourites

Holmes on campus by WindmaedchenBathtub  Singing by WindmaedchenBaker Street Family by Windmaedchen
A selection from my favourites.
Background by NightBlueSky Box by CypherVisor



Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
Snoopy Writer Stamp by Mirz123

The Lord gathered all the writers and divided them into four groups.

To the first group He said, “You will be novelists and you will make a living from your work.”

To the second group He said, “You will be poets and people will admire and be moved by your work.”

To the third group He said, “You will write short stories and people will enjoy your work.”

And to the final group He said, “You will write flash fiction and… Yes, well, sorry about that.”

My name is Frankles. I'm a writer specialising in flash fiction.

(When I get called home, there are going to be words.)


Unless a man is in part a humorist, he is only in part a man.
GK Chesterton

Visual Favourite

Femlock by RikoJasmine
A piece selected from my favourites.
Background by NightBlueSky Box by CypherVisor


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Plaugh Featured By Owner 5 days ago
Many thanks for the :+fav: :D
SCFrankles Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome ^^ Joy 
hlwar Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015
Blower fella (Party)birthday cake Misc Emoji-04 (Happy Birthday) [V1]fella Gift (Party)
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! ^_^ Put your fingers in the air 
hlwar Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2015
You're very welcome! Did you have a great birthday? :hug:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
It wasn't too bad ^^
(1 Reply)
ThornyEnglishRose Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Happy birthday, my northern friend! :party:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Crikey - do they have birthdays in the south too..? Innocent 

Thank you very much! ^_^
PatchworkLynx Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015
Happy birthday!!! :happybounce:  If you have cake, I hope it's yummy, and if you have tea, I hope there's no salt in it, and if you get presents, I hope they're great!
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Well, all my presents involve chocolate - so they are indeed great ^_^ i luf chocolate 

Thank you very much! 
days-be-strange Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday.
I hope your day involves cake and presents, if it doesn't, you can always pretend it isn't your birthday and you're still a year younger.  I am a dummy!   
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you - both very kind thoughts :giggle: 
days-be-strange Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
No problem. ^^
Xinaug Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015
happy birthday!
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