The Clapham and District Pirate ChoirIt had been a long day at Pirate Primary School and the Ruthless Edward (aged 6) was getting ready for bed. He sighed as he pulled on his pyjama bottoms. He really wanted a wooden leg like all the cool kids but Granny had said he couldn’t have an amputation until he was 18.
Insects“Thank you for coming in,” said the interviewer, as they settled down on opposite sides of the desk. “It’s Mr. Carlton, isn’t it? May I call you Paul?”
HomonymsDarren was carefully pouring a jug of water into his biology textbook.
I've Really Lost My MindThe young man smiled, with just a touch of embarrassment. “I seem to have lost my mind.”
SmugglingJohn was in the frozen vegetables aisle, contemplating the advantages of peas over broccoli, when Sherlock suddenly appeared beside him.
Floor Coverings“Oh, dear God!” Abruptly, Watson found himself horizontal.
The Prosecution Rests"You? Doing jury service?" grinned John, reading his flatmate's letter.
Trailing BehindJohn hadn’t been able to drop off at all in the caravan. Sherlock, conversely, was sleeping like a baby. Up every two hours and making a hell of a racket.
The Last Day of JuneIt had been a long, hot day and Redshirt Dave, Jane Doe, Mary Sue and Main Protagonist of Indeterminate Gender were cooling off on the shaded deck of their back garden enjoying the sunset. Main Protagonist of Indeterminate Gender was just reflecting on how uneventful the world had been lately when they were rudely interrupted by a loud droning noise overhead.
FFM15 - 1: It Ain't Easy Being Green“Nobody appreciates Celery,” the leafy green stalk moped. “I have many qualities, you know. I’m good in a salad, and soup. I go well with peanut butter, but all you ever hear is ‘95% water’.” His voice became a high pitched whine at the end.
FFM 2015 2: Santa Maria, Pray for MamaI have an early memory of rushing up into the nipa hut and stumbling toward where she bent sifting through the uncooked rice for little black stones. Mirth was bubbling in my chest--Mateo, that little lothario, had been trying to bestow kisses, and I had only managed to dash away, my bakya flying off to wallop him on the tummy. How my playmates had laughed!
FFM 2015, July 3 - The UnitPlayback (cj1.wav) started at 13:00:01
FFM2015 6 - Anthrophobia“When asked why he wants to travel into the black, Fadri declined to continue the interview. We will track his ship’s departure as far as we can see for the next few days, and report on anything that may occur. Thank you for listening to Anytime News: Reporting when it happens, as it happens.”
Bodice Ripper'Imogen's bosom heaved as the scaly creature bore down on her. She was famous for being an eccentric adventurer, but had she been too eccentrically adventurous this time?
An Enid Blyton Tribute in Under 1,000 Words1: A New Term
The Good, the Bad, and the Very, Very Lucky“Them’s be fightin’ wordses!” cried Bad Grammar McGraw.
The Lord gathered all the writers and divided them into four groups.
To the first group He said, “You will be novelists and you will make a living from your work.”
To the second group He said, “You will be poets and people will admire and be moved by your work.”
To the third group He said, “You will write short stories and people will enjoy your work.”
And to the final group He said, “You will write flash fiction and… Yes, well, sorry about that.”
My name is Frankles. I'm a writer specialising in flash fiction.
(When I get called home, there are going to be words.)
Unless a man is in part a humorist, he is only in part a man.