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Deviant for 4 Years
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Flash Fiction

Signs and Symbols& came rushing in.
“I’m so happy & excited & ecstatic &, &, &…”
“Yes, OK—don’t get yourself in a twist,” said [. “What’s going on?”
“My friend’s got us tickets to @’s concert tonight! @!” & gazed off into the distance. “He’s so dreamy…”
[ snorted. “He’s ancient. He hasn’t always been an email megastar—I can still remember him from when he was pricing petunias.”
“Oh, yeah.” & sighed and smiled. “I love his early typewriter stuff too: ‘Pansies @ 50p for 10. Ask to see a catalogue for further details…’”
“You really have got it bad,” said [.
& looked at the bracket. “You’re so square. What are you into then?”
*! Now that’s a real star.”
& seemed unimpressed. “&..?”
“And #.” [ looked at &. “I’m not completely
HomonymsDarren was carefully pouring a jug of water into his biology textbook.
“What are you doing?” asked Miss Markham.
Darren looked up at his English teacher. “The exams are coming up soon, so I’m pouring over my books.”
Miss Markham sighed. “It’s not ‘pouring’, it’s ‘poring’.” She beckoned to Darren. “Come and take a walk with me, young man. You might learn something.”
Going down the lane, they came across a path leading away from the road. A young woman in a flamboyant white dress and an older man in a morning suit were just about to start hiking down it.
“Ah! Excellent—here’s a good example to begin with,” said Miss Markham to Darren.
She stopped and addressed the girl. “You know, this isn’t a bridal path. It’s a bridle path—for horses and their riders.”
“Oh…” said the bride. “You know, that does make

WordsThe meeting of the support group was taking place in the Dusty Dictionary—a refuge from the world for the archaic and lesser-used words in the English Language.
“Who would like to start?” asked the group leader, poltroon. “Ruth, perhaps?”
The word quivered a little. “My name is ruth, and I’m an archaic word….” It gave a sob. “I’m so sorry…”
“Take your time,” said poltroon.
“It’s just so hard!” said ruth. “I haven’t worked in years, and I’m not sure I ever will again. But ruthless is constantly being employed. It doesn’t make any sense. How can people have ruthless without needing ruth?”
Dandled nodded sympathetically. “I rarely get any gigs nowadays myself. But when I do, I turn up and find dangled has pinched the job. ‘He dangled the baby on his knee.’ What the hell does that even mean? Sounds bloody dangerous to me.”
I've Really Lost My MindThe young man smiled, with just a touch of embarrassment. “I seem to have lost my mind.”
The female attendant looked at him. “This is a railway ticket office.”
“You want the lost property section over there.” She pointed at a counter where a severe-looking man was rearranging misplaced umbrellas.
“Thank you!” The young man nodded politely and headed across to the other section.
The lost property attendant looked up as the young man approached. “Is it an umbrella you want?” He indicated the display.
The young man appeared to be tempted for a moment by a purple one decorated with cats and dogs, but then apparently remembered why he was there.
“No,” he said. “I’ve lost my mind. I’m pretty sure here was the last time I used it—I was trying to work out what would be the cheapest ticket to Inverness on a weekday in June, outside peak hours, travelling with my back to the engin
A selection from my flash fiction.
Background by berzelmeier Box by CypherVisor


The Prosecution Rests"You? Doing jury service?" grinned John, reading his flatmate's letter.
"I will kill Mycroft," said Sherlock.
Both sides had concluded their arguments.
"Well, it looks straightforward to me," said the foreman, in the jury room. "I don’t think he did the burglary. The prosecution's case was pretty flimsy."
There was general agreement to this.
Sherlock smiled.
"Guilty," said the bewildered foreman.
"Guilty?" said the judge, surprised despite himself.
“Yes,” said the foreman. He paused for a moment, concentrating. “His laces indicate his alibi is false, his posture tells us he’s been in the area where the burglary took place, and his chronic dandruff suggests he’s actually been inside the burgled property. Oh, and the defendant needs 37 other offences to be taken into consideration.” The foreman glanced briefly behind him. “Probably."
From the back row, Sherlock nodded in satisfaction.
John gazed at the stunned-looking jurors gathering in th
Dancing MenSherlock strode into the living room, wearing a kilt. It revealed rather a lot of thigh—the effect being more Mary Quant than Rob Roy. 
John glanced up briefly from his laptop. “You’ve got mine on,” he said. 
“The hire company must have mixed up the labels,” said Sherlock, glaring at his hemline. 
John snickered. 
“Are you going to behave tonight?” he asked, as he put his laptop aside. “Scottish country dancing has no place for mavericks. You’ll have to work as part of a team.” 
Sherlock’s lips twitched, ever so slightly.
Mrs Hudson was a nifty little mover, despite the hip.
“Thanks for standing in,” she said. “Larry and Ken have been arrested.” 
Sherlock smiled. “Anything for you.” 
“Why are we actually here?” said John after Mrs Hudson had moved away. 

Leave A MessageSherlock was galloping through his deductions when Lestrade’s phone rang.
“Hold on,” said Lestrade, and then paused. “That’s odd.”
He showed the display to John.
Number withheld: please pass phone to Sherlock Holmes,” John read out.
“Don’t answer it!" shouted Sherlock.
John stared at him. “Is this something to do with Mycroft?”
Sherlock turned abruptly and strode away.
At the lab they bumped into Molly. Almost immediately her mobile rang.
“Um..?” she said gazing at the screen.
“Message for Sherlock Holmes?” asked John.
“Turn your phone off now,” said Sherlock.
There had been a determined dash through miles of London backstreets but the suspect had managed to get away.
“Damn,” said Sherlock. “We’ll have to-”
John’s phone rang.
“It’s that weird message again,” he said. He glanced up at Sherlock. “It must be
Trailing BehindJohn hadn’t been able to drop off at all in the caravan. Sherlock, conversely, was sleeping like a baby. Up every two hours and making a hell of a racket.
“Sherlock,” said John. “There is no nicotine in this vehicle. Go to bed.”
Sherlock glared and sipped his fifth cup of coffee.
John groaned.
At least the case was over. Tomorrow they would be back in London.
John checked the connection between the caravan and car and got into the driver’s seat.
“Shall I drive..?” asked Sherlock.
Ah, apologising for last night, thought John.
“We don’t want to end up crashing into the embankment if your shoulder locks,” said Sherlock.
John started the car.
For an hour he listened to Sherlock complaining. Despite having just solved a case, Sherlock was already craving more stimulation.
At the next service station John pulled over.
“I’ve had enough. Go and buy some cigarettes.”
Sherlock stared. “Really?”
A selection from my 221Bs.
Background by Gasara Box by CypherVisor

Fan Fiction for the Unconvinced

Literature Features

Pre-inventing the WheelLon was an I.T support worker. He was also a caveman, so perhaps it would be more accurate to call it lowercase ‘t’ support.
“Me rock no right way up,” said Gurp.
Lon looked at Gurp’s rock with an expert eye. “Gurp try drop it pick it back up again?”
Gurp dropped the rock. Then he picked it back up. It was still upside-down.
“Hmn,” said Lon, mulling the problem over. “Try throw it at wall.”
The rock clattered off the wall and landed on the ground the right way up and only slightly chipped.
“Gurp thank Lon,” said Gurp as he resumed aimlessly hitting bits of cave with his rock.
Lon strolled out into the sunshine chewing cloves. Some of his fellow proto-humans were sat a little way down the hill trying to make fire. One in particular seemed to be having trouble.
Krog was waving a single stick in the air furiously, a somewhat perplexed expression on his simian face. “Fire no work,” he complained.
FFM July 2 2014The Baby-Napper
The streets were busy as the shops were opening for the day. Owners were rushing out to clear out the old for the new, and shoppers were rushing in to get the deals that were sure to follow. But there was on store that was very strange, and that’s where our story takes place.
Now like every good store we need a protagnonist. Pro-protagowist? Pro? God, how do I say that? The, heroy-person-thing that’s the-the bloody good guy!
[You can’t say protagonist?]
Shut up! Anyway, our good guy-
[So we have a good girl, not a good guy?]
SHE was heading towards the strange shop in hopes that her desire could be fulfilled.
[Shady-ass shops tend to do that. Just look at every story or movie with one ever.]
A spork, Wilhelm, a spork. May looked up and saw the words ‘Baby Shop’ written on the sing, even though she knew the truth.
[Did you just say sing instead of sign?]
FFM 2014 12: Mr. Sinungalingsi∙nu∙nga∙ling (Filipino)
    1. noun   Liar.
    2. verb   To lie.
It is a new day in a new city for Annie. They have just moved to Manila from Zamboanga del Sur. Annie and her sisters miss their home province, but they are excited to go to a new school.
Mama calls to them, “Don’t forget your sandwiches!”
There are three things Mama loves most: reading the Bible, making ham sandwiches for her daughters, and admiring her collection of rare coins from Saudi Arabia.
“Bye, Mama!” the little girls say, holding their lunch boxes.
Most of the little girls in their new school have always lived in Manila. Annie and her sisters are a curiosity.
“Where are you from?” a classmate asks Annie.
“The Great Wall of China,” Annie lies.
Annie says she can do calligraphy, fancy Chinese writing. She says back in China she has a black horse and a saber. A clu
BabydollPropping my daughter against the towel on my shoulder, I rhythmically pat her back. Nevaeh's just had her second bottle of the day, and try as I might, I still can't get her to burp. Today is no different, and in the end I give up, wipe her small round mouth, and pop her in the bouncer for a while. It's the electric kind, with a soft lullaby and swinging motion, so I know she'll be entertained while I get on with the mountain of washing that needs to be folded.
You wouldn't think just two people could make so much washing, but ever since her dad had left me, it seemed like the washing pile had grown larger instead of smaller. Despite the lullaby, I make conversation with her as I fold - it seems to me that it's the best way to develop her speech, for her to hear it. She's such a good, quiet baby, I often wonder how long until she starts making more noise.
By the time I've reduced "mount fold-me" to a mere foothill, she's asleep, so I leave her in the bouncer and dash out to check the m
Before the Black Throne    There was a rattle of chains as the rusty iron cage dropped from the ceiling. It was accompanied by the rattling laugh of the Dungeon Lord himself. The same mechanism that had dropped the cage over the great stone altar had also revealed his terrible black throne.
    “You may have found my gems of power, thief, but I don’t think they—or you—will be going far.”
    “No,” the thief admitted. “This cage looks pretty secure. Very sturdy. Lots of spikes.”
    “I claimed it from the Keep of Akragokh, where it once held prisoners of the Thousand Day Siege. Still, I don’t think it has witnessed such suffering as it shall see today.”
    “Oh no,” said the thief. “What are you going to do to me?”
    Standing, the Dungeon Lord approached an alcove near the throne and retrieved a
FFM 2014, July 5 - BoxesThe answering machine was blinking red. Elaine stared at it. Aside from the streetlight through the blinds, it was the only thing with a light on in the apartment. There was nothing to turn on. Everything was in boxes. Her sofa, her bed, all covered in boxes. She’d tried to unpack, after her brother had left with the rental van, but somehow every thing she pulled out of the damned boxes reminded her of him. Of them. The worst was the box with all the framed pictures – why had she even packed them? Elaine felt the tears well up again. For the last week all she’d done was cry, until her migraines became pre-emptive.
No. No. This was not how she’d spend her first night away from that cheating, no good piece of shit. She’d broken free now, and even though she had no job or prospects, and a family two states away (her brother, bless his soul, was probably halfway through Washington by now), she wasn’t going to just lie around and cry. Elaine got up
FFM#5 [Challenge] -- Newsreader“Bloody hell, where’s Richard.”
“He’s in the tea room.”
“Doing what?”
“What else? Making a cuppa.”
“Tea? He’s supposed to be on air in five minutes.”
“It’s what he always does before a news broadcast.”
“On radio perhaps, but this is television.”
“And he’s got a face for radio, so he needs a bit of spruc—hello Richard.”
“Hello David, how are you this evening?”
“Perfectly fine, thank you. Listen, if we could get you down to the wardrobe down the hall, we need to—“
“Oh, don’t be daft David. What should the television viewers care about the way I’m dressed?”
“Well, you understand it’s important to comport ourselves decently to the viewers at home.”
“I understand that, yes.”
“Good, then you’ll understand that the situation with your hair
FFM 2014: PulaOnce upon a time in in a small village in Botswana, there was a little girl named Lesedi who was very naughty.
While out walking one day Lesedi came across Mma Rammala cooking porridge for her breakfast. Mma Rammala had forgotten her bowl and went to fetch it, and seeing the porridge untended Lesedi decided she was hungry and ate it.
When Mma Rammala returned to find her cooking pot empty she cried out in shock.
“Lesedi, what has happened to the porridge I was making for my breakfast?”
“Impi the Vervet Monkey took it,’ Lesedi said, and pointed to the tree where he was sitting.  “I tried to stop him, but my legs are not fast enough and I couldn’t reach him in time to stop him eating everything.
“You greedy Monkey!” Mma Rammala scolded. “How dare you eat all my breakfast!”
“But I didn’t do it!” Impi cried.
“I don’t believe you. You are a liar and a thief!” Said Mma Rammala and turned her

Visual Favourites

please call me, baby by JCapelahello? by joel3dFractal Machine by AexionOutdated icons by MessBook
A selection from my favourites.
Background by NightBlueSky Box by CypherVisor



If I Could DD...

Journal Entry: Fri Dec 19, 2014, 11:10 AM
This fan fiction feature is part of a Community Feature Project. You've got two more days to take part yourself: see this journal! It's also possible to do a literature feature - same deadline: see this journal! (I'm doing fanfics today and original lit tomorrow.)

Fandom: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

Revised Alice Scene by IndigoDragon13
Revised Alice Scene    “Well that was odd.” the girl said, landing on her feet. She didn't address this to anyone specifically, but to no one in particular. She seemed to be standing on a large table, covered almost completely filled with tea dishes and plates of food.
“No room! No room!” someone shouted.
“I’ll just have to sit on the table then.” She said sitting down cross-legged where she was. She looked around the table. Each chair was different and most were empty. Three at the end were occupied, a regular dining chair, a three legged stool and a comfortable looking armchair.
“Hullo.” she said addressing a tall hare in a suit.
    “You mustn't sit on the table.” the occupant of the armchair spoke up, a little blond girl wearing an old fashioned dress.
    “Whyever not?” she replied “They said there was no room.”

A charming look at what happens when the modern day Alyssa meets her counterpart Alice at the Mad Hatter's tea party.

Fandom: Sherlock

Getting Down by Moogiesgirl77 

Our story begins with Sherlock looking dramatic on a rocky outcrop...

Er, this flashfic was in fact written for me by a chum ^^" But I can assure you I'm not being biased when I say it is hilarious. I love it.

Fandom: Cabin Pressure

Hidden Talents by Moogiesgirl77 

Hidden TalentsDouglas: 'Diamonds Are Forever Young'.
Martin: Um, let's see...
Douglas: 'Remains Of The Day Of The Triffids'.
Martin: Douglas, give me a chance! W-wait, I have one: 'Village Of The Damned Yankees'.
Douglas: Hmm, it could work...
Martin: Ha!
Douglas: Except for the fact that it's 'Damn Yankees'.
Martin: Damn!
Douglas: Precisely.
Arthur (enters Flight Deck): Coffee, chaps?
Martin: Thank you, Arthur. ‘Third Star is Born’?
Douglas: Bit of a stretch, wouldn’t you say?
Arthur: What are you playing now?
Martin: ‘Combined Movie Titles’.
Douglas: Martin named it. It’s certainly original.
Martin (exasperated sigh): Care to give it a go, Arthur?
Arthur: Brilliant! Ah, how about: 'Georgy Girl With The Dragon Tattoo'?
Martin: Arthur, that's...
Douglas: Rather creative.
Arthur: Oh, or: ‘The Princess Bride of Frankenstein’?
Martin: Interesting.
Douglas: Yes, well--
Arthur: ‘12 Angry Men in Black’. I must say, this is quite fun!
Martin: I

This is another piece by the previous writer but I couldn't choose between them. The author has caught the characters exactly, and come up with a very clever word game for them to play - it's a scene that could be slotted straight into an episode.

Fandom: Doctor Who (Fourth Doctor)

Principals of the Bizarre by JZLobo 

Principals of the BizarreIsaac Newton paced about his home, trying to suppress his panic. How could he have lost such a huge manuscript? Granted, his home was a mess of experiments and other papers, but he had been careful to keep primary project secure and close at hand. It wasn’t where he thought he’d last put it. Of course, it was getting harder to think with that whirring noise drilling into his head.
He turned to the tall man with the long scarf leaning over his fireplace, tapping the stones and probing the mortarwork with his noisy little device.
“Doctor,” he said. “Have you seen my manuscript?”
His houseguest looked up at him with his wild blue eyes. “Which one?”
“The one I have been working on these last three years,” he said. “The Principia.”
The Doctor held up two fingers the approximate thickness of the manuscript. “The one yea big?”
“Oh, that one.” The Doctor returned his attent

A very amusing piece of flash fiction ^^ The Doctor is staying with Isaac Newton. He's not exactly being the perfect house guest...

Fandom: Sherlock

Sherlock chickens by FlyingGuineaPig 

Brief but elegantly and perfectly done. If you've seen series 1 of Sherlock, you'll immediately be laughing in recognition.


Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
Snoopy Writer Stamp by Mirz123

The Lord gathered all the writers and divided them into four groups.

To the first group He said, “You will be novelists and you will make a living from your work.”

To the second group He said, “You will be poets and people will admire and be moved by your work.”

To the third group He said, “You will write short stories and people will enjoy your work.”

And to the final group He said, “You will write flash fiction and… Yes, well, sorry about that.”

My name is Frankles. I'm a writer specialising in flash fiction.

(When I get called home, there are going to be words.)


I am a mod for Sherlock60 on LJ: a community for writing 60 word ficlets based on the 60 stories in the Conan Doyle Sherlock Holmes canon.

Unless a man is in part a humorist, he is only in part a man.
GK Chesterton


Add a Comment:
leyghan Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
Much obliged for the :+fav: :icondweebdanceplz:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome ^^ :eagerpotato:   (Nearest I could find to a Tuberanian :P)
Moogiesgirl77 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
Thank you for the +fav ! Bunny Emoji-87 (Thanks) [V5] 
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
And thank you for yours too ^^ Bunny Emoji-09 (Heart) [V1] 
Moogiesgirl77 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2014
Purple Hearts - Free to use  You are very welcome!
DelusionalAsylum Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thanks for the fave Hug 
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome ^^ It's a striking image.
leyghan Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
So happy you got a DD! :iconcheerplz:

Hope this is a trend and good things keep happening for you. 
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You noticed ^___^  :iconhappehdanceplz:

Thanks - things do seem to have been going well recently with regard to my writing ^^ I must try and write a bit more for dA though - been spending most of my time wrestling with Holmes and Watson. (Steady.)
Moogiesgirl77 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2014
Thank you for the +fav:squee: 
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