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About Literature / Hobbyist Premium Member FranklesFemale/United Kingdom Group :icontheknow: TheKnow
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Deviant for 4 Years
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Flash Fiction



The Clapham and District Pirate ChoirIt had been a long day at Pirate Primary School and the Ruthless Edward (aged 6) was getting ready for bed. He sighed as he pulled on his pyjama bottoms. He really wanted a wooden leg like all the cool kids but Granny had said he couldn’t have an amputation until he was 18.
He buttoned up his pyjama top and got under the duvet with his ruthless teddy just as Granny came in with a snack for him. He sat up and she handed him the plate, and then she sat down beside him on the edge of the bed.
“So, what did you do at school today?”
The Ruthless Edward rested the plate on his knee and thought. “We learned about pirated material, Granny,” he said. “Stealing other people’s work.” He frowned. “It was pretty boring—not like real pirates at all.”
“No,” agreed Granny, smiling, “that isn’t much like our kind of piracy but it does have its origin in proper pirates. Shall I tell you about it?”
The Ruthles
Insects“Thank you for coming in,” said the interviewer, as they settled down on opposite sides of the desk. “It’s Mr. Carlton, isn’t it? May I call you Paul?”
“Yes. Yes, that’s fine,” said Carlton, attempting to relax.
The interviewer checked the piece of paper in front of him, and looked up again. “Well, Paul, perhaps we could start with you telling me a little about why you would be suitable for the job.”
“Right,” said Carlton. “Um, well, I’ve worked in security for 15 years, first for—”
The interviewer interrupted him. “Actually, it’s not security work.”
“Isn’t it?” Carlton looked bewildered. “But the advert mentioned intruders and keeping out unwelcome visitors…”
The interviewer smiled a little. “That is true. But we’re talking more about pest control.”
Carlton’s face fell. “Right. Well, I’m sorry fo


HomonymsDarren was carefully pouring a jug of water into his biology textbook.
“What are you doing?” asked Miss Markham.
Darren looked up at his English teacher. “The exams are coming up soon, so I’m pouring over my books.”
Miss Markham sighed. “It’s not ‘pouring’, it’s ‘poring’.” She beckoned to Darren. “Come and take a walk with me, young man. You might learn something.”
Going down the lane, they came across a path leading away from the road. A young woman in a flamboyant white dress and an older man in a morning suit were just about to start hiking down it.
“Ah! Excellent—here’s a good example to begin with,” said Miss Markham to Darren.
She stopped and addressed the girl. “You know, this isn’t a bridal path. It’s a bridle path—for horses and their riders.”
“Oh…” said the bride. “You know, that does make
I've Really Lost My MindThe young man smiled, with just a touch of embarrassment. “I seem to have lost my mind.”
The female attendant looked at him. “This is a railway ticket office.”
“Yes..?”
“You want the lost property section over there.” She pointed at a counter where a severe-looking man was rearranging misplaced umbrellas.
“Thank you!” The young man nodded politely and headed across to the other section.
The lost property attendant looked up as the young man approached. “Is it an umbrella you want?” He indicated the display.
The young man appeared to be tempted for a moment by a purple one decorated with cats and dogs, but then apparently remembered why he was there.
“No,” he said. “I’ve lost my mind. I’m pretty sure here was the last time I used it—I was trying to work out what would be the cheapest ticket to Inverness on a weekday in June, outside peak hours, travelling with my back to the engin
A selection from my flash fiction.
Background by berzelmeier Box by CypherVisor

221Bs



SmugglingJohn was in the frozen vegetables aisle, contemplating the advantages of peas over broccoli, when Sherlock suddenly appeared beside him.
“What the..?” said John.
“I’m here on a case.” Sherlock was staring over John’s shoulder. “Just try to act naturally.”
John looked round and saw a scruffy, prematurely-aged woman shuffling towards the baked goods. He turned back to Sherlock.
“Isn’t that a member of your homeless network—Miss… Adlington?”
Sherlock nodded, and then tensed. “The security guard’s spotted her.”
“Oh, God,” said John. “Please tell me you haven’t got that poor woman doing shoplifting for you.”
Sherlock glanced at John. “Of course not. Miss Adlington hasn’t done a dishonest thing in her life.”
His gaze returned to the woman. “People working in security always make such stereotypical assumptions. She’s just the decoy
Floor Coverings“Oh, dear God!”  Abruptly, Watson found himself horizontal.
He raised his head from where he lay and glared up at Holmes. “Care to tell me why you’ve greased the sitting room floor?”
“Well,” said Holmes, “I needed to find out how far a man would slide if…”
“Just pick me up, you wretched man!”
“Aaargh!”
Holmes rushed into the sitting room to find Watson once more flat on his back, having slipped—perhaps surprisingly—on a patch of ice.
“My dear fellow!” cried Holmes. “I should have warned you of my experiment!”
“You better have a damned good explanation why I’m lying here with a rapidly chilling backside,” said Watson.
“It’s conduction,” said Holmes. “Heat travels...”
He caught Watson’s expression. “I see. I’ll just help you up then.”
“Mud?”
Holmes smiled.

The Prosecution Rests"You? Doing jury service?" grinned John, reading his flatmate's letter.
"I will kill Mycroft," said Sherlock.
Both sides had concluded their arguments.
"Well, it looks straightforward to me," said the foreman, in the jury room. "I don’t think he did the burglary. The prosecution's case was pretty flimsy."
There was general agreement to this.
Sherlock smiled.
"Guilty," said the bewildered foreman.
"Guilty?" said the judge, surprised despite himself.
“Yes,” said the foreman. He paused for a moment, concentrating. “His laces indicate his alibi is false, his posture tells us he’s been in the area where the burglary took place, and his chronic dandruff suggests he’s actually been inside the burgled property. Oh, and the defendant needs 37 other offences to be taken into consideration.” The foreman glanced briefly behind him. “Probably."
From the back row, Sherlock nodded in satisfaction.
John gazed at the stunned-looking jurors gathering in th
Trailing BehindJohn hadn’t been able to drop off at all in the caravan. Sherlock, conversely, was sleeping like a baby. Up every two hours and making a hell of a racket.
“Sherlock,” said John. “There is no nicotine in this vehicle. Go to bed.”
Sherlock glared and sipped his fifth cup of coffee.
John groaned.
At least the case was over. Tomorrow they would be back in London.
John checked the connection between the caravan and car and got into the driver’s seat.
“Shall I drive..?” asked Sherlock.
Ah, apologising for last night, thought John.
“We don’t want to end up crashing into the embankment if your shoulder locks,” said Sherlock.
John started the car.
For an hour he listened to Sherlock complaining. Despite having just solved a case, Sherlock was already craving more stimulation.
At the next service station John pulled over.
“I’ve had enough. Go and buy some cigarettes.”
Sherlock stared. “Really?”
A selection from my 221Bs.
Background by Gasara Box by CypherVisor

Fan Fiction for the Unconvinced



Literature Features



The Karma Train‘There is nothing worse than going to school by tube!’ said Alice.
James had no reply.  They were hanging onto a pole in the middle of the carriage, swaying and bumping into each other, and into people on their way to work.  The train smelt of sweat, coffee and clothing.  The only passengers to acknowledge each other were those in school uniform.  The rest stared through each other, or over each other’s heads, expressionless and silent.
The next station is Southgate.
‘I’m never getting a tube again after school’s finished,’ said Alice.  ‘Well, not in the rush hour, anyway.  I mean, look at these people!  What a bunch of zombies!’
For a moment, James  tried to shrink into his school shirt like a tortoise into its shell.  Then he realised no one was looking at them.  Alice was right.  They were zombies, and not the flesh eating kind.  They saw noth
The Business of Dreams“So what’s the pitch?” asked Harper as he strode into the room. “This better not be a waste of my time like last time.”
Swallowing his annoyance, Victor took a seat at the meeting table. They’d been waiting almost an hour for the asshole to make an appearance but sure, they were wasting his time. “I'll leave that for you to decide sir,” he said in his most neutral tone. “But we think it has potential.” He glanced at Sophie, the other dream tech in the meeting room who took that as her cue to begin.
“This one’s a sci-fi,” Sophie said, “Nothing too freaky. Take a look Mr. Harper.” She swiveled in her chair to face the large touch screen in front of her, adjusted her glasses and keyed up one of the images that had been recorded less than twelve hours ago.   
The screen showed a set stage for a kid’s television show. This particular set was of a garage with kitschy objects mount
Rescue MissionaryAugust 22
  Unable to sketch, Meredith has started a journal to "put her feelings somewhere safe until she can deal with them".  She wants me to as well.  I don't see the point, but it doesn't take long, so I'll do what I can for her.
  I feel rage, I feel failure, I feel unfathomable loss.  I feel guilt, inadequacy.  Sympathy for Meredith, and love.
  I feel hollow.
  That's about it.  Going to make sure my suit fits now.
-Colton

August 23
  It was in a church after all, they must have changed the rules.  "...ways known to Him alone...".  I wonder if they believe it, or if they're just being polite, after centuries of harsh truths.  I want to believe it, but I can't make myself.
-Colton

August 30
  Been sleeping a lot.  Most of the time, even.
  Meredith has gone back to work.  She says it will help her, that the house is too quiet.  I know she wants to ask when I'm going to
Teacher's Pet Sneaks Out"Not my roses, mate."
I freeze with one foot on the edge of the garden. The groundsman glares at me from under his tangled brows. He snaps his shears and snips a twig off the top of the bush. "Not this year."
I flash an apologetic grin and disappear into the stream of kids heading to class. I can hear the 'snick-snick' of the shears behind me until I round the corner of B block. The bougainvillea climbing up the fence has been picked clean of flowers and even the dandelions growing from the cracks in the concrete are gone. Clearly I wasn't the only kid who forgot to bring flowers today.
The bell rings right above me and I clap my hands over my ears. Ow! Well, I can't be late. Especially not today. Besides, from the amount of flowers missing from the gardens there should be enough that Ms Carpenter won't notice I forgot mine.
The hinge of my trumpet case squeaks as it swings in my hand, slapping me against the leg. As much as I love my new backpack, it's a pain it's too small to put it
Ezra and the ImagistesImagism was not created in a classroom, or in a gathering of academics. The Imagist movement was born in a Kensington tea-shop in the spring of 1912, at a meeting between three good friends: Ezra Pound, Hilda Doolittle (better known as H.D.), and Richard Aldington. “Like other American expatriates,” Richard Aldington later wrote, “Ezra and H.D. developed an almost insane relish for tea. Thus it came about that most of our meetings took place in the rather prissy milieu of some infernal bun-shop full of English Spinsters” (Life 134). This particular meeting had been called by Ezra Pound, upon receiving copies of a handful of H.D.'s latest poems. “Ezra was so much worked up by these poems of H.D.'s that he removed his pince-nez and informed us that we were Imagists” (Aldington Life 135).
                                         
Come to Mama“Stop fussing, Jenna. Sit next to your mother.”
The bench was ancient but sturdy. The paint had long since chipped away, leaving only a brown weathered surface. A dying sapling threaded its leaves through spaces between the wooden slats. This was where I first met Mama. At twelve, I was mesmerized by her wraith-like beauty. She sat on the bench every Halloween, waiting for something, for someone. She had let me sit beside her while I ate my candy and she watched the other children in their costumes. If I could have stayed with her, I would have, but I was much too old by then. Jenna was a lucky little girl.
“She doesn't know me yet. It's fine. She needs a moment to collect herself.”
Mama's smile was warm, inviting, but I could tell she was hurt by Jenna's reluctance. Her lips were so dry they cracked and peeled. She was so pale she was almost colorless. Still, she possessed an ethereal beauty that left me breathless every time I looked at her.
“Jenna's a b
Soul FlyUncle Levi and Auntie Gertrude and Katie didn’t miss Gramma. They didn’t even think about her until her Soul Fly Day came. Their flies were silver with big sparkly opal eyes, but Momma said the wood ones Grampa carved for us were just as good.
It was my first Soul Fly Day ever. Momma got me a new black dress and told me it was all right to cry. Katie’s dress had white ruffles and silver flies stitched into it. She pointed at my wood fly and called us poor.
There were so many people there was barely enough room for the shaman to get to Gramma. Everyone got real quiet so we could hear him say words I didn’t understand. Gramma’s Soul Fly came out of her mouth and started flying over us. It was like a paper doll, only just black. It landed on my head and Momma cheered and we sang Soul Fly Day songs. Katie whined about how she should have got the blessing because her fly was so pretty.
And that’s how my painting won first prize at the fair.
SketchyGraphite creatures crawled over planes of white, crossing lines like railroad tracks. Those in lead were the lucky ones. They- the flying tortoises, the moaning pumpkins, and the sea monsters with no gills- had been completed.
These were followed by their half-drawn brethren, who dragged themselves forward in spite of missing limbs. They tripped, sometimes, over beings that had never been granted heads.
Then came the ghosts- creations that had been finished, then erased. They drifted in a fog of pencil smears, and their voices came in clouded moans.
“How could you do this to us?”
The stragglers had all been crossed out. Ink dribbled from places where lines had lanced through their bodies.
Together, the ghoulish menagerie surrounded their tormentor.    
The artist bowed her head, holding her pen out like a general surrendering her sword. “I swear I will never draw again.”
“No,” said a fanged sea monster, “You never will.”

Visual Favourites



Secret World by mikopolFlashes of gold by Faerie2304
A selection from my favourites.
Background by NightBlueSky Box by CypherVisor

Plain-and-Mousy

deviantID

SCFrankles
Frankles
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
Snoopy Writer Stamp by Mirz123
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The Lord gathered all the writers and divided them into four groups.


To the first group He said, “You will be novelists and you will make a living from your work.”

To the second group He said, “You will be poets and people will admire and be moved by your work.”

To the third group He said, “You will write short stories and people will enjoy your work.”

And to the final group He said, “You will write flash fiction and… Yes, well, sorry about that.”


My name is Frankles. I'm a writer specialising in flash fiction.

(When I get called home, there are going to be words.)
:iconbluedivider1plz::iconbluedivider1plz::iconbluedivider1plz::iconbluedivider1plz::iconbluedivider1plz::iconbluedivider1plz::iconbluedivider1plz:


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Unless a man is in part a humorist, he is only in part a man.
GK Chesterton
Interests

Visual Favourite



Elegant by wei-en
A piece selected from my favourites.
Background by NightBlueSky Box by CypherVisor

Comments


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:iconrevrun14:
RevRun14 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015
Is this spam? If it is feel free to tell me to remove it. Or is this one of those "tagging" memes?

Hey here's a hug!
YOU'VE BEEN HUGGED!! Huggle huggle <3
Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)
Hug Huggle! Man Hug Tight Hug Tackling hug 5 seconds hug Squish Hug 2 - The Eye Poke Hug Redbull glomp Hug2 rvmp :slipperyhug: :hugs:
RULES:
1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 10 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!
Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!
1-3 you're bad friend
4-6 you're an ok friend
7-9 you're a good friend
10-& Up you're loved ^-^
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I don't think I'll tag anyone else, but thank you - and here's a hug for you ^^

:tighthug:
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:iconrevrun14:
RevRun14 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2015
That's okay. Thanks for the hug!
Hug 
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:iconleyghan:
leyghan Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
:tighthug: Just 'cuz
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Right back atcha ^^ :backhug: 
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:iconbeatrixg:
BeatrixG Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama!
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the fave! :D
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:iconbeatrixg:
BeatrixG Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Welcome!
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:iconmoogiesgirl77:
Moogiesgirl77 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015
Thank you for the +fav ! #1 OMG MOAR POEMS! 
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! ^^ :spins: 
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:iconcerealnovels:
cerealnovels Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014
Thank you :)
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome ^^ :boogie:
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:iconquboidjellyfish:
QuboidJellyfish Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you kindly for the llama badge. I fucking love llamas... almost as much as jellyfish. :)
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Have a jellyfish as well ^_^  Animal Emote: Jellyfish

Thanks for the faves, btw ^^
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:iconquboidjellyfish:
QuboidJellyfish Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
Even better, nothing beats a jellyfish :D

No problem at all, your writing is some of the funniest stuff I've read in a while.. keep it up man :)
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I shall try ^^ Thanks for the watch - if you're keen on humorous writing, try DamonWakes' stuff too. I'm pretty certain his work will be to your taste :D
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(1 Reply)
:iconharlowejean:
harlowejean Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the Llama! Its very appreciated!
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome ^^ Thank you so much for the fave! :happybounce:
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:iconharlowejean:
harlowejean Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
You're very welcome!!
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:iconrevrun14:
RevRun14 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2014
Thank you for the fav!
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