Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
×

:iconscfrankles: More from SCFrankles


Featured in Collections

Literature by Copperfrost

Sherlock Fanfics by SuperWhoLockLand

Literature by Kalyblu


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
January 9, 2013
File Size
1.7 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
446
Favourites
22 (who?)
Comments
41
×
John had a date.

"I'd advise against that jumper," said Sherlock.

John turned from the mirror. "You know nothing about clothes. You never wear anything apart from your detective 'uniform'."

"I have a great deal of knowledge on the subject," said Sherlock. "It's important to understand why people choose to dress the way they do." He languidly considered John's outfit. "In this instance, for example, one might deduce you were short-sighted and colour-blind…"

"I'm going," said John and he left to meet Michelle, who loved the jumper. Unfortunately, John then spent the evening complaining about Sherlock.

Michelle declined a second date.





John stomped into the flat.

"Pleasant evening?" asked Sherlock from the kitchen.

John stomped into the kitchen.

"I'm a trained surgeon and soldier!"

Sherlock looked up from his experiment, mildly puzzled.

"You disparage my intellect!" yelled John. "You disparage my appearance!"

He glared at Sherlock. "Is it absolutely necessary always to belittle me?"

Sherlock rose from the table.

"I would never belittle you," he said solemnly.  

He stepped towards John and stared intently down at his friend.

"It's difficult enough already seeing you with the naked eye."

John's extraordinarily expressive face wrote a 10,000 word essay on Sherlock Holmes: The Arguments in Favour of Murdering Him.

"Not good?" Sherlock asked carefully, taking a step backwards.

"Mm," said John. "A bit."
Never tease a trained killer ^^

Sherlock fanfiction

A 221B - a story 221 words long, final word beginning with "b". 221B form invented by ~KCScribbler (KCS).

My other 221Bs can be found here.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconstarfall-glow:
starfall-glow Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
This made me laugh so much - once I actually got the joke >.< Sorry for my slow understanding.
You made my day! Keep writing these!
Reply
:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner May 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
(Pleased you got it eventually :giggle:) Your comment made my day ^^
Thank you so much for all your kind words! :iconsuperheroglompplz:
Reply
:iconthecheshercat:
TheChesherCat Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, this is gorgeous as always. Commenting a month late? Perhaps a bit not good, I'm sorry.

Best line: "John's extraordinarily expressive face wrote a 10,000 word essay on Sherlock Holmes: The Arguments in Favour of Murdering Him."
Reply
:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks ^_^ (I am very proud of that line ^^) To be honest, I'm pathetically grateful that someone has read this a month after it's been posted ^^"

Um, I may perhaps have got into a Sherlock conversation with someone else... (^^")
Reply
:iconthecheshercat:
TheChesherCat Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:noes: I guess this means I need to resume our conversation again, lest this other person steal you and your wit away!
Reply
:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh, I have wit to spare - wits scattered all over the place ^_^ (Nice use of "lest", btw ^^)
Reply
:iconthecheshercat:
TheChesherCat Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:bow:

...Ooh, you dropped these! *runs to pick up all the wits* Maybe I'll keep some for myself...
Reply
:icontenrec4tea:
tenrec4tea Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
Who is John? Oh wait, I assume this from the TV show? I haven't watched it yet, but I still really like this.

"Michelle, who loved the jumper. Unfortunately, John then spent the evening complaining about Sherlock." Very amusing.

"John stomped into the flat. [...] John stomped into the kitchen." These are the funniest lines, I think. Lovely.

"John's extraordinarily expressive face wrote a 10,000 word essay on Sherlock Holmes: The Arguments in Favour of Murdering Him." This starts off quite wordy and I was thinking, "dear god, I hope all this imagery is worth the kick", but it most definitely was!

The one thing I spot that I think could improve this would be to delete the opening line, "John had a date." and let Sherlock's words open the piece.
Reply
:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Crikey, someone who hasn't watched Sherlock - you're a rare species ^^ John is Dr Watson: because the programme is set now, they call each other by their first names instead of Holmes and Watson. It felt so, so odd at the beginning ^^"

Thanks for all the compliments ^^ I really like the "stomping" lines, so I'm pleased you picked those out. And I'm glad you approved of the "10,000 word essay" sentence. I am generally Queen of the Short and Straightforward Sentence but this metaphor popped into my head and seemed too good not to use.

I think I see what you mean about the opening sentence - it is really just a blunt scene-setter. The second sentence is better. But I was pretty happy with the beginning and I have to admit I am hugely reluctant to change the story now I've got the wordcount right. However, it is only 4 words and I could overtly mention the date a little later on, so I will consider your suggestion ^_^

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment - it was very kind of you! :icongivecupcakeplz:
Reply
:icontenrec4tea:
tenrec4tea Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013
Ahh, I figured that he was Watson. I'm going to have to watch this show soon, it sounds really good. (Do they say "elementary" a lot?)

I still think it'd be better if you started off with what Sherlock is saying, but the bluntness of "John had a date" matches up with the stomping bit, so... :shrug:

It didn't even register to be what the 221B stuff was about! Where does that come from?

You're very welcome. ^!^ Thank you~ I have been entertained. (AND OH MY GOSH A CUPCAKE EMOTICON TOO?! so tricky.)
Reply
Add a Comment: