John had a date.
"I'd advise against that jumper," said Sherlock.
John turned from the mirror. "You know nothing about clothes. You never wear anything apart from your detective 'uniform'."
"I have a great deal of knowledge on the subject," said Sherlock. "It's important to understand why people choose to dress the way they do." He languidly considered John's outfit. "In this instance, for example, one might deduce you were short-sighted and colour-blind…"
"I'm going," said John and he left to meet Michelle, who loved the jumper. Unfortunately, John then spent the evening complaining about Sherlock.
Michelle declined a second date.
John stomped into the flat.
"Pleasant evening?" asked Sherlock from the kitchen.
John stomped into the kitchen.
"I'm a trained surgeon and soldier!"
Sherlock looked up from his experiment, mildly puzzled.
"You disparage my intellect!" yelled John. "You disparage my appearance!"
He glared at Sherlock. "Is it absolutely necessary always to belittle me?"
Sherlock rose from the table.
"I would never belittle you," he said solemnly.
He stepped towards John and stared intently down at his friend.
"It's difficult enough already seeing you with the naked eye."
John's extraordinarily expressive face wrote a 10,000 word essay on Sherlock Holmes: The Arguments in Favour of Murdering Him.
"Not good?" Sherlock asked carefully, taking a step backwards.
"Mm," said John. "A bit."