Haring Off

The Tortoise and the Hare were about to leave for a holiday to celebrate their wedding anniversary.

“Five years together…” said the Tortoise, putting a pair of sunglasses into his case. “I just can’t believe it.”

The Hare sped past with a checklist.

“What I can’t believe is that you’re still packing!”

He disappeared again.

The Tortoise added a couple of paperbacks to his case and the Hare reappeared, dashing from the opposite direction.

The Tortoise chuckled. “Don’t get yourself so wound up. There’s no use rushing these things…”

“Check in is in two and a half hours.” The Hare galloped upstairs.

The Tortoise stared at the contents of the case, rearranged them slightly, stared a bit more and then put everything back as it was.

The Hare came thundering down carrying several heavy bags. He glared at the Tortoise.

“Aren’t you done yet?”

The Tortoise turned to look at him. “Dearest,” he smiled. “Do try and remain calm. Don’t you remember how we first got together—how I proved that slow and steady is always best?”

The Hare raised his eyes to heaven. “My mother was so right…”

There was the sudden sound of a horn and the Hare looked anxiously out the window. He turned back to the Tortoise.

“Look,” said the Hare. “Your tenacity, perseverance and conscientiousness are marvellous. A lesson there for all of us. But—” He began carrying the bags over to the doorway. “—the sodding taxi is here.”

“Well, there’s no need for language,” said the Tortoise. He turned towards the stairs.

The Hare stared at him. “Where the hell are you going?”

“Just need to get my shell polish. Won’t be long.” And the Tortoise headed upstairs.

Very, very slowly.

The Hare dropped all the bags and stood clenching and unclenching his paws for a moment.

“Right,” he said finally. “Enough is enough. You are coming now.”




The check-in attendant frowned at the readout on her screen. “I’m afraid your hand luggage is a little over the limit, sir.”

“Really..?” The Hare’s eyes widened and he began unzipping the bag. “Hang on. I’ll just unpack my husband.”