Restarting a Conversation

“Oh, thank heavens you’re here!” cried Percival.  

The woman from the Articulation Association strode across the bar to the table, nodded to Percival’s companion and then addressed Percival himself.

“So you were the one who phoned? You two have had a communication breakdown?”

Percival smiled weakly. “Conversation completely ground to a halt. Will it have to be towed away?”

The AA woman glanced at the heap of broken words. “I don’t think it’ll come to that.” She smiled reassuringly. “We like to do repairs in situ if we can.”

She leant over and began poking around in the conversation.

“Can you see what’s wrong?” asked Percival anxiously.

“Well, it could be many things. An age gap, different social or cultural backgrounds, an assumption made about shared knowledge, different expectations about levels of politeness—”

She paused.

“... the fact one of you has been speaking in English and the other speaking in German.”

The AA woman straightened up.

“I’m… quite surprised you hadn’t noticed that yourself, to be honest.”

Percival shook his head. “Well, I’m not the expert.” He furrowed his brow. “Will you be able to fix it? It’s just ‘speaking louder and waving your hands about,’ isn’t it?”

The AA woman tipped her head to one side. “Well, we consider that technology rather outmoded actually. It’s a cheap solution certainly, but not an effective one. You’d be better off spending time and effort on a course of—”

“Oh, I’m sure the cheaper option will be fine.” Percival smiled at his companion. “HELLO. DO. YOU. WANT. ANOTHER. DRINK?”

“Yes…” The AA woman glanced between the two of them. “You know what? I think it might be better if I did just tow the conversation.”

Percival looked downcast. “You sure?”

“I think it’s for the best.”

The AA woman raised her eyebrows at his companion.

“Er, möchten Sie mitfahren..?”

The companion nodded vigorously. “Bitte.”