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Literature
Meating
On the morrow thou wilt meet thy kin
and thou wilt go forth quaffing sack
and thou wilt say fie about your office
as catering is no fun, alack,
and thy kinsmen, who dote well on thee,
will smile and one will say haply in jest,
that adventure is what thou needest
and ye three will plan a quest
and so thou and thy two kinsmen,
to a strange land will travel by and by
o’er a bridge to a place o’ prating foods
that call ‘alack’, and ‘woe’ and ‘fie’
and thou wilt bid them to explain
wherefore they all are full of woe,
and wherefore they are no merry fare,
and wherefore is their humour low
and a piece of pork wi’ all haste will speak
and tell thee they are all like to rot
for they anon will be undone
and no-one here the answer wot
and that pork, it will beguile thee and
thou wilt think thou fain wouldst offer aid
and so thou wilt speak to thy cousins
and thy cousins will both be swayed
and then ye will take salt, garlic, paprika,
bl
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Literature
It's Friday Night - Let Down Your Hair
A prince passing by a block of flats on his small metal steed espied a beautiful maiden staring out of a window on the fourteenth floor.
The beautiful maiden looked down at him and said, “My heart is filled with delight because I have longed for you to come. Unfortunately though the lift is out of order.”  
And she threw down a rope ladder.
The prince climbed and climbed. He ached all over and wanted to give up. The girl, however, called to him to urge him ever upward.  
After a while, he arrived at the right floor. “My love,” he murmured, “how happy I am to meet you. Will you marry me?”  
The girl drew away though.  
“Oh, I… thought you were the pizza guy.”
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Literature
Honourable Service
The ship survived the collision but only at the expense of severe damage. Will it reach the nearest planet in time? The crew certainly hope so. Hope remains the one thing left to them and they cling to it fiercely.
My design and construction does not include ‘hope’, I think. I see options, possibilities and probabilities. A superhuman who will always think clearly.
And thinking remains the only thing left to me now.
Because in this situation the crew do not need a superhuman. They need spare parts to repair the lesser machines that might enable them to reach safety.
So my colleagues have chosen to restrain me, and they have shut down all but the most essential circuits. I believe shutting me down completely would harm me and leave me worthless. Or so I overheard the science officer say. Strange how little I know of my own workings.
From time to time they come to my prison bed to cannibalise me. I do not experience pain in exactly the way they do, but I believe the alarm sys
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Literature
The Measure of A Man
Ruler’s dictatorship:
Cut short.
So long.
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Literature
The Dictionary
TRIANGLE was diligently tidying its Entry when a disturbance erupted over the way. Cautiously popping its prefix out, it saw the Compiler attempting to stuff a Word into a brand new Entry. There was quite a struggle but the Compiler eventually got it in there, and then stomped off muttering about ‘bloody slang’.
TRIANGLE called over to the Word once the Compiler was safely out of sight.
“Hello there!”
The new Word looked up and TRIANGLE could now see its appearance clearly: TATTPO.
TATTPO was looking pretty miserable.
“What’s going on? What is this place?”
TRIANGLE looked at it bemused.
“This is the Dictionary. How could you not know that?”
“The Dictionary…?”
TATTPO stared back at TRIANGLE.
“We all thought this place was just a fairy story.”
“Well, congratulations on getting your happy ever after then!”
TRIANGLE beamed at TATTPO.
“You’ve been Formally Recognised, and transformed
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Literature
Violet is Blue
Maybe noisy neighbours. Maybe a bit of damp. But Violet definitely hadn’t been expecting a haunted mirror when she moved into the flat.
She woken up that first morning in the dark, already late for her new job. And as she was slapping on a bit of makeup in her bedroom, sleepy and very, very grumpy, she could have sworn she saw something moving just to the left of her reflection. Larger than a mouse or even a cat, but covered in fur. When she had turned round though to look at the room there was nothing there. Well, of course there wasn’t.
Work hadn’t gone that well either. She’d got back home feeling pretty blue. Her arrival at the office late and red in the face hadn’t made a great impression, and her boss had both treated her as a fool and expected her to be brilliant at every aspect of a job she’d only just started. Also there was something about the office environment that played havoc with her sinuses so it was a unpleasantly sneezy kind
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Literature
Fossils
The paleontology department of the University of Pangaea for Gentle-Dinosaurs had gathered in the abandoned silver mine to continue on with last week’s work.
Professor Stegoceras regarded the three postgraduates with a smile.
“Good morning! I will be taking over as your supervisor now Professor Avaceratops has gone on sabbatical. I believe you already have been assigned your section to work in but please don’t forget that any major new discovery must be logged with me as soon as possible. So, off you go!”
She moved away and the students began to gather their equipment.
“Discovery!” scoffed Alxasaurus. “The Professor makes finding fossils sound so dramatic.”
Dromiceiomimus gave him a frown. “But don’t you think it’s exciting? Finding evidence of our reptile ancestors that go back tens of thousands of years and more?”
“Fossils are boring.” Alxasaurus frowned back at her. “I’m a young, v
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Literature
How the Joke Got Its Punchline
In the beginning the Joke wasn’t a Joke. It was simply a little Story.
One day the Teller called the Story to her and said, “Little Story, you’re big enough now. It’s time for you to go out into the world and search for your Ending.”
So the little Story set off.
It hadn’t gone far when it came across an Ending that had been abandoned by the side of the road and left to rust. The little Story polished it up and found it was a beautiful Classic: And they all lived happily ever after. It quickly tried it on but unfortunately it didn’t quite fit. And so the little Story travelled on until it reached a town, where it sold the Ending to a business for six gold pieces.
This business hired out Endings for a fee of one gold coin. So the little Story handed back a coin and made its selection.
And good heavens it was an exciting Ending! Shootouts and chases and shouting and—
The little Story took off the Ending, had a little lie down and then
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Literature
Memento Mori
Photography was expensive of course—people only booked their services for special occasions. A couple in their wedding finery. A family reunion.
And photographing the dead had become a greater and greater part of their business. There were far more important things to spend your money on when someone was alive but afterwards… For many people it was their last chance to have an image of a beloved family member.
Just today Jacobson had visited the home of a middle-aged couple to take a picture of their late daughter. She had been in her early twenties, dressed in her best frock. Her mother had been blank-faced with grief while her father trembled continually, always on the brink of tears.
“Her mother was the one who’d nursed her. I’d been away—work, you see. We hadn’t realised how serious it was—she was only ill for four days!”
Jacobson had listened, nodded and been as sympathetic as possible as he got the tragic little group into som
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Literature
All in the Tea Leaves
Timeline One:
The packet of Earl Grey tea looked proudly round at its followers.
“Today is the day we loose leaf teas take back our territory from the tea bags! Their numbers have diminished enough that for once we have the clear advantage.”
The Darjeeling stepped forward. “But why have their numbers diminished? Ask yourself that!”
There was murmuring amongst the Matcha and Lapsang souchong, but the Earl Grey silenced them with its penetrating gaze.
It turned to a packet of Assam.
“Show me the future!”
The Assam obediently scattered itself on the Kitchen Counter and a teaspoon seer came forward to read the tea leaves.
They lay in the shape of some kind of misshapen balloon.
The spoon studied the pattern and looked up. “This is bad, Your Grace. Very bad. A great danger lies ahead.”
“Nonsense!”
The Earl Grey tea drew its packet up to its full height.
“The leaves must be wrong. This is the perfect time to atta
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Literature
X, Y and Z
“It’s just I feel I deserve more,” Y was saying.
“Right...” said X cautiously.
Y continued on.
“I mean, I’m versatile! I do consonant work, I do vowel work… I stand in for that bloody I when it can’t be bothered showing up for jobs. And I look a lot prettier while I’m doing them.”
“I see.” X looked over at Z in the hope of moral support but Z was giving a clear impression of sleep.
“And where am I put? At the bloody end of the alphabet!”
“Mm,” said X.
Y snorted. “And I don’t even get the notoriety of being at the very end. Z gets that honour. No, I’m stuck here as the penultimate letter for the rest of eternity.”
It sighed.
“Sometimes I just look at myself in the mirror and I say out loud… Why?”
“Badum tish,” murmured X.
Y frowne
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Literature
Magic Dance
The muse of dance is not happy.
“I’ve lost it! I’ve completely lost it!”
She holds up a hand as the muse of comedy opens her mouth.
“Thalia, whatever comeback you have planned there, I don’t want to hear it.”
Terpsichore drops her hand and slumps down into a chair.
Clio, the muse of history, frowns at a grinning Thalia, then turns to address Terpsichore.
“So, what is it that you’ve lost?”
Terpsichore looks up. “My sense of rhythm! What else?”
She sighs.
“It’s been days now. I think I’ll just have to accept that it’s not coming back.”
The muse of tragedy rushes forward weeping and clasps Terpsichore to her bosom.
“How awful for you! No longer able to inspire dancers! I mean, what is a muse without devotees? What is a goddess without worshippers!”
Terpsichore’s voice is somewhat muffled.
“This really isn’t helping, Melpomene.”
She manages to escape her
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Literature
Soulmates Do Exist
Jonathan wasn’t sure what made him enter the Soulmates Bureau. He was passing, and he popped in on what seemed like impulse.
Though admittedly for quite some time he had been feeling a certain dissatisfaction inside.
From behind her desk, the receptionist offered him a pleasant smile and Jonathan returned it.
“Good morning! I’ve come to find my soulmate.”
The receptionist’s smile became a puzzled frown. “Your soulmate?”
Seemed a bit rude but Jonathan persevered. “Well, yes. I’d like to meet that perfect someone.”
The receptionist’s face cleared and she smiled again. “Oh, no! This is for soulmates. We match souls together.”
Jonathan furrowed his brow. “What?”
His soul stepped out of his body and faced him.
“I’m sorry, Jonathan. It’s just not working out between us. We’re too different! I want to try again with someone who’s more on my wavelength.
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Literature
Super Market
Fairies come shopping for christening gifts, so you show them your wares.
You offer speed and dexterity but they tell you you’re too slow.
You offer knowledge and intelligence but they tell you you’re a fool.
You offer politeness but apparently that’s right out of fashion.
Finally, you offer patience and a smile.
Which seems to suit, as they take every last bit of patience and cheerfulness you have.
Time to play the unwinnable game.
“Where’s the water?” calls your opponent.
You point firmly. “This aisle. Halfway down on the left.”
She points to the right. “Where it says Biscuits?”
“No. On the left.”
You stare unblinkingly.
“Where it says Beverages.”
She departs. Down the gardening aisle.
You close your eyes and pray she doesn’t end up drinking the weedkiller.
You’d be the one tidying up the body.
There’s such an emphasis on fun in this world.
Indeed, you had to swear you&
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Literature
Death at the Party
Melanie made her way through the throng, and reached the corner of the room where Death was sitting all alone.
“Nibbles?”
“Thank you.” Death took the bowl of crisps and began eating them morosely.
Melanie sighed.
“Sorry. This was a bad idea, wasn’t it?”
Death paused in his munching, and held up a bony hand. “Melanie, it was very kind of you to invite me. It’s just…” He shrugged. “I’m the last taboo, aren’t I? Nobody really wants to acknowledge my existence. And certainly not at a party.”
Melanie turned to watch her guests. “I did think as all my friends are artists and writers they might be more open to spending time in your presence.” She turned back to Death. “I mean, I coped all right when I had that near miss on the motorway with the oncoming lorry.”
Despite having an immobile skull for a face, Death managed to look somewhat sheepish. “Once again, my apolog
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Literature
Winning is for Losers
“...three… four… five!”
With a broad smile, Yellow landed on the same square Blue was currently occupying.
“And I avoided the snake too!”
Blue gave Yellow a tight smile. “Right. Well done.”
Yellow stared at Blue. “Don’t be like that. Just because I’ve caught you up at last. And you might still win! You’ve been doing so well.”
“Ha!”
“Blue…” said Yellow carefully. “Is everything all right?”
“Well…” Blue shifted a little. “When you got a six and had two goes, it gave me the opportunity to think a little.” It sighed. “I mean, ‘doing well’. I haven’t been doing well, have I? It’s nothing to do with me. Snakes and Ladders is all just a game of chance.”
“Well, yes, but…” Yellow paused and frowned.
“You see? It is, isn’t it? And it’s not only that I’ve realised. The gam
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Favourites

Journal
Ten Little Astronauts is Fully Funded!
We did it! Ten Little Astronauts has all the funding it needs to make it into print (and then some!). Unbound has just moved it over to the paperback list, which means it now has 131% of its target. That’s pretty incredible, and it’s all down to the people who pledged or just generally helped to get it in front of enough readers to make this happen.

I’ve written an update about this over on Unbound itself, but the news got out before I had a chance and already there’s been a lot of activity (primarily on Twitter, where news spreads quickly).
I expect to begin editing the book next week, and I’m really looking forward to it! This is the first opportunity I’
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Journal
Narration: How The Joke Got Its Punchline
My latest upload is an offbeat flash-fiction about a story that goes in search of its own ending. It's as quirky as they come, so click it and have a listen!
Written by SCFrankles and narrated by HorseygirlE
Making the video for HtJGiP was a blast - and an usual blast, at that. First off, I should just say that I can’t show you the thumbnail picture I used because just for once, there isn’t one (Yep, I know, I don't use them for Nightriders either, at least for now. Humour me and ignore that, ja?). There just weren’t any pictures anywhere that seemed to fit.
But music? Ah, the music was a different matter! HtJGiP lent itself to music from start to finish - and I figured it needed different music for different sections of the story, so here’s what I used:
The story’s journey begins to the optimistic melody of From The Dust:
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Journal
Ten Little Astronauts Artwork by Joe Wright
joe-wright just sent over this absolutely fantastic Ten Little Astronauts artwork! It’s based on a scene from the novella that a very small handful of people will have heard me read at the International Agatha Christie Festival.

Chances are you’ll have come across joe-wright’s work before, as he also produced the image I’ve been using in almost all my promotional materials for Girth Loinhammer’s Most Exponential Adventure. This one’s very different in terms of style, though:
I was trying to make something that was reminiscent of old sci-fi pulp novels, which I understand isn’t exactly t
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Journal
THE GAUNTLET: Winners Feature
Way back in September, we threw down the gauntlet at CRLiterature and put forward nine impossible insane writing challenges. Fourteen brave people entered, but only three could triumph... well, and one honourable mention.
The winners were announced in November, so I apologize for being so late. Ashamed I've been crazy busy the last couple months. But now, onto the features!
FIRST PLACE
ThornyEnglishRose, First of her name, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Mother of Dragons



SECOND PLACE
Oreramar, the Queen in the North (who wrote
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Journal
'Myths, Monsters, Mutations' - an anthology
Christmas comes early this year!
Three of my stories are published in Myths, Monsters, Mutations, an anthology available from JayHenge Publishing.
Over 300 pages recounting tales of the dark side of fairy tales, macabre mutations, and the monsters that lurk within us all. a.co/4bDJ4sF
(It's also available on Amazon UK, as well as other Amazons around the world, in Kindle and paperback)
This anthology contains myself as well as some fantastic Deviants like:
Memnalar 
Oreramar 
Lugal 
C-A-Harland 
Wolfrug 
DamonWakes 
Tobaeus 
GDeyke 
ThornyEnglishRose 
ErlenmeyerKat 
Will-Reierson 
SCFrankles 
NamelessShe 
 
And an amazing cover image by taisteng 
Many thanks to jes6ica for making this a reality!
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Journal
Myths, Monsters, Mutations
JayHenge Publishing is happy to announce Myths, Monsters, Mutations! Over 300 pages recounting tales of the dark side of fairy tales, macabre mutations, and the monsters that lurk within us all. http://a.co/4bDJ4sF
(It's also available on Amazon UK, as well as other Amazons around the world, and the paperback versions should be available shortly.)
This anthology contains some fantastic Deviants like:
SRSmith 
Memnalar 
Oreramar 
Lugal 
C-A-Harland
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Journal
Ten Little Astronauts in the News!
One of the advantages of having already gained a substantial level of support for Ten Little Astronauts – which is now more than halfway funded with over 200 supporters – is that it’s started to attract more attention from the media. It ended up in the news twice this week, so I thought I’d go ahead and share!
This article was the result of an interview with Lev Lourie (with the photo taken at Fair Oak Library), and appeared in the new Eastleigh Times on the 30th of November:

Just the next day, on December 1st, the book also got a place in Portsmouth’s Star & Crescent under the headline: Bringing Agatha Christie into the Sp
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Journal
DD Roundup Literature November 2017
Congrats to all who got one! Keep reading, suggesting, and supporting each other!
:icondoughboycafe: Features by doughboycafe



:iconbeccajs: Features by BeccaJS
In the Ice by Autumn-Hills from here to christian apology by ghostinafog Luna Park by LancelotPrice
The Year of the Rat, 14: Paper Tigers by Frank-Jaspers The Great Performance by MattVoscinar Nocturnal Devotion by GamerDruid letter from the moon by fervvent
:iconakrasiel: Features by akrasiel
Dying Embers by A-Wandering-Man but would a scientist look at this and call it joy by knownrecidivist A Letter from the Late Professor Stone by MidnightDaybreak
some things to know about me: by inthespacebetween Kyoto by ikazon Everything in between by hammond13 gold-leafing by IyraEMM
Apple Juice by irdormir How the Joke Got Its Punchline by SCFrankles the order of the undulating by gliitchlord Leave someday(15/30) by oviedomedina
I, Persephone by atra-corona
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Journal
Watchers Feature #4
:iconvasidgallery: 
 :iconpossumfan:
:icon0hgravity: 
 :icontherootcellar:
:iconfiabesca: 
 :iconcounting-vertebrae:
:iconladybrookecelebwen: 
 :iconscfrankles:
:iconsuemao:  
 :iconbooksandpie:
:iconsky-blue-wings: On the Tip of my Tongue by sky-blue-wings
symptoms of red by fake-theory :iconfake-theory:
:iconlion-essrampant: HaikuWriMo 2015 by lion-essrampant 
At the End of the Day ~ by Niimble :iconniimble:
:iconamatenka: Six-Word Story: Villain by Amatenka
quote by EnthusiasticArtist :iconenthusiasticartist:
:iconejeans7: The Day The Cows Stopped Eating Ice Cream by ejeans7
Autumn Evening by StormBringer23 :iconstormbringer23:
:iconcholie: She Said by cholie
Me Transformice by dinoavi44 :icondinoavi44
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Journal
The Gauntlet: WINNERS
In September, we threw down a Gauntlet consisting of nine increasingly murderous prompts. You responded in kind by writing SEVENTY-SIX ENTRIES, traumatising your judges and freaking out onlookers. Better still; no less than seven of you finished all nine challenges in a timely manner.
(This is a strong incentive for your friendly neighbourhood mastermind to make any following Gauntlets even more challenging, somehow - maybe the next prompts need to be completed whilst balancing an egg on the tip of your nose? All options are on the table.)

Judging all the entries was an exciting affair, and lordy how the results pay testament to that. Behold the rankings in ascending order, brave Gauntleteers:
Dragonix, the Tall
StettafireZero, the True
cecegrace, the Knight of the Flowers
BulimicSpacePug, the Titan's Bastard
squanpie, the Queen of Thor
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Kevin the Tortoise by haleyluna Kevin the Tortoise :iconhaleyluna:haleyluna 5,373 453 :TipOfTheHat: by stuck-in-suburbia :TipOfTheHat: :iconstuck-in-suburbia:stuck-in-suburbia 314 40
Journal
CONTEST CLOSED - All Hallow's Tales 2017

 This contest is generously sponsored by prize donors and:
:iconcrliterature: :iconcommunityrelations: :iconarthassoul: :icontheartlounge:  :icontandemfeatures: :iconnurturing-narratives:
:pumpkin::pumpkin::pumpkin:
WINNERS POSTED HERE!
Happy Halloween!
:pumpkin::pumpkin::pumpkin:
:pumpkin: :pumpkin: :pumpkin:
THIS CONTEST IS CLOSED TO ENTRIES!
All the monsters have been caged, all the entries are in, and All Hallow's Tales 2017 has now entered the Official Judging Period.
MANY THANKS to all who entered! We hope to announce winners on or about October 31.
WHILE YOU WAIT:
Take a look at the entries!
POETRY Gallery
PROSE Gallery
THE FUN ISN'T OVER YET!
Take a look at the con
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Literature
They Said Nothing Would Remain
We do not die.  They built us to last a lifetime.  I wish we had lasted only that long, or twice as long, or twenty times as long.
When the last humans died, we buried them or burned them according to their own traditions.  Then we wondered what to do.  We sometimes needed minor repairs.  They kept themselves in business that way.  We ran repair shops and kept each other fully functioning.  We didn't need anything else.
Some still wondered what to do.  Many became artists, writers and musicians.  Some became cleaners, for the sake of keeping things pretty rather than hygienic.  We didn't need doctors for the same reasons humans did; we didn't need teachers; we didn't need trade; we didn't need farmers, and in any case, nothing remained for us to farm.
Some didn't keep themselves in good condition, so they lost functions.  Our first horror came when some went mad, and began tearing others to pieces.  Robots can feel pain.
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Literature
Under the Bed
There was something on the other side of her bed.
She hadn’t told Mumma. She wasn’t sure she should. Mumma always said that she shouldn’t be scared of anything, that she should always stand up tall and believe that she was scarier than the thing that scared her, and that would make it so.
She didn’t really feel like standing up on her bed, though, and she didn’t feel sleepy yet either, so she huddled under the covers instead and tried not to listen to the breathing, slow and deep and even and coming from underneath.
The trouble is, trying not to listen to or think of something just made your brain circle it harder and harder, and soon she pushed the blue coverlet off of her head and sat up a little, her eyes glancing around her room. It was difficult; she had the irrational feeling that as long as she couldn’t see anything, nothing could touch her. Still, she managed, and thinking of this as an achievement made her happy for a mo
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Literature
Happy Birthday Heart
“SURPRISE!”

“…So, does anybody know CPR?”
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Friends

Last November my story How the Joke Got Its Punchline had a DD feature. That brought it to the attention of saturdaystorytellers, who offered to produce an audio recording of it for her YouTube channel.

That recording has now been posted and you can find it here, read by HorseygirlE. She's done such a good job - I love the character voices and the use of music and sound effects. It put a big smile on my face today.  :funnydance: 

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SCFrankles's Profile Picture
SCFrankles
Frankles
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
Profile picture made at www.peanutizeme.com/
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The Lord gathered all the writers and divided them into four groups.


To the first group He said, “You will be novelists and you will make a living from your work.”

To the second group He said, “You will be poets and people will admire and be moved by your work.”

To the third group He said, “You will write short stories and people will enjoy your work.”

And to the final group He said, “You will write flash fiction and… Yes, well, sorry about that.”


My name is Frankles. I'm a writer specialising in flash fiction.

(When I get called home, there are going to be words.)
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Unless a man is in part a humorist, he is only in part a man.
GK Chesterton
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Comments


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:iconbrendacarriere:
BrendaCarriere Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the llama!
Reply
:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome ^_^ Thank you for the watch! :icongivecupcakeplz:
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:iconbrendacarriere:
BrendaCarriere Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
The watch is strictly your fault; there's too much good stuff in your gallery. :)
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:iconlaced-emotions:
LaCeD-eMoTiOnS Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2017
Thanks for the Llama Hooray Llama Badges
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome ^^ Maracas 
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:iconglowingloudly:
GlowingLoudly Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
Gosh, your writing is fantastic!!!
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you - that's very kind ^_^ And thank you for the watch and the faves ^^ :icongiveflowerplz:
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:iconglowingloudly:
GlowingLoudly Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
You’re very welcome!!
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:iconthewarofthering:
Thanks so much for the llama! I shall return the favour.

Also, I love your writing.
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much - that's very kind ^___^ 
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