The Big Break-Up

“So,” said the three-dimensional world coolly. “You say you were being chased by a ‘zombie eater of worlds’ moaning, Branes… Branes…”

“Indeed, indeed,” said the other three-dimensional world.

“And you were so frightened that you didn’t look where you were going and you… accidentally… collided with this completely strange three-dimensional world you’d never met before.”

The second three-dimensional world shrugged. “‘Fraid so.”

The first three-dimensional world fixed the other with a stare. “And you two are now united forever, and our intended nuptials will not be happening after all.”

“That’s about the size of it,” said the second three-dimensional world.

“Oh, for—” The first three-dimensional world vibrated. “I don’t believe you for a moment! You planned all this, didn’t you? Just didn’t have the nerve to face me like a brane and tell me you didn’t care about me any more!”

“No!” The second three-dimensional world looked stricken. “OK—I admit I lied. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but… Look, I was just minding my own business, making my way along the fourth spatial dimension when I saw this other three-dimensional world coming the other way and… Well, sometimes attraction just happens! We hit it off immediately.”

“I see,” said its erstwhile betrothed.

“Please don’t be angry.” The second three-dimensional world smiled weakly. “Perhaps in a parallel universe we did collide and are living happily ever after.”

“Ah, yes—the ‘String-ing me along Theory’. I really don’t think that’s how it works!”

The first three-dimensional world looked away.

“Well, that’s that then. I suppose I should be the bigger brane and wish you all the best. Especially as it seems your union has already been blessed.”

It looked back at the other three-dimensional world.

“I can see from here you’re already expanding.”